The longest bridge in the world and I had to pee like a race horse!

This weekend I went to an ultimate tournament a couple hours drive from Shanghai in Ningbo, Zhejiang. The drive used to be about six hours but with the opening of the world's longest sea-bridge in May, 2008, it now only takes about 2 hours.

We got on the bus and started drinking 'russian monkeys', which includes beer, vodka and redbull. About ten minutes after getting on the bridge I had to pee. No, I needed to pee. And for those of you who know me, know that I have trouble keeping it in.

To make matters worse, the driver was not allowed to stop on the 36 km bridge. This is because when the bridge first opened, drivers whould stop their cars in the middle of the road to take pictures of the view. This caused several accidents and many more arrests. The driver explained there was no way to stop. I felt trapped and was so scared I would pee my pants. Luckily, I prevailed.

Needless to say, when I reached the rest station 1 km past the bridge, I had the most satisfying pee I have ever had.

Shanghainese cuisine; sweet, right?

麻婆豆腐 (Mapo Tofu) - my favourite Chinese dish

So I have recently moved in with a Shanghainese family (上海家庭, 'Shanghai Jiating'). They are super sweet. On top of that, they pay for my rent and cook me all my food and in exchange, I hang out with their 23 year old graphic designer daughter. Its a pretty sweet deal but its been a difficult transition, especially with such cultural differences. I feel a bit strange with the set up but I'm sure I will find myself right at home soon.

There are countless interesting aspects of living with this family - most of which I'll get into later. Right now I want to talk about Shanghainese cuisine. I've never really been a fan. The food is all so sweet. There's a saying in China about the different foods in different areas:

“南甜，北咸，东辣， 西酸" (nan tian, bei xian, dong la, xi suan), which means "South is sweet, north is savoury, east is spicy, west is sour."

My favourite is 川菜 ('chuan cai'), Sichuan food (its in the west but its extremely spicy. Its a different kind of spice, one that makes your tongue numb). Being located in the Southeast, Shanghainese food is extremely sweet. I don't really like it but I've been pretty good about eating everything they cook for me and its also nice to eat home cooked food.

Tonight though, I helped Gao Chen Feng (my 'mom') cook dinner. We made a broccoli dish with some processed ham, scrambled eggs, a vegetable called 开化 （'kai hua'，‘open flower’) in Chinese . I don't know the English name. We also had some soup. It was all pretty good but I wish I didn't see the amount of oil and sugar put into the food! Lets just say the eggs were soaking with oil...

Oh Whats in a Name? It’s Organic, but Does That Mean It’s Safer?

And you think melamine is the problem?

This article (click here) shows that organic certified products in the US are also causing quite the stir. With the national outbreak of salmonella in organic certified peanut butter, people are fearing their 'healthier' choices. Not only did the plants that were selling this contaminated peanut butter have mold and rat feces, they also had organic certification.

But how could this be? How could our beloved organic stamped food betray us? It said 'no MSG!' It said 'free range!' The organic movement has actually been criticized by a number of academics and food analysts since it has been revamped from a grassroots farmers' movement to an agribusiness marketing dream. The standards that allow for companies to become 'certified organic' have also been dropping. 'Organic', as it explains in this article, does not ensure that food safety, fair trade, workers' rights or environmentally friendly methods are even being considered.

Because of this peanut butter salmonella outbreak, 9 people have died and hundreds have been injured. It's shitty that it had to take something like this to bring to light the many problems in the organic food business.

And here's a great way to understand the problems we face in our supermarkets. May the force be with you!

The Becoming of a Saying...

I just returned to Shanghai after a two month hiatus and have started studying Chinese. Language opens up another dimension to understanding a culture, especially in China where the language and culture is so different from North America. While I studied on my own for my first five months here, it was difficult to get really into it, both because I was busy with work and more importantly, those of you who know me know that I tend to procrastinate (ie. I watched all five seasons of The Wire in 3 and a half months). However, I have managed to pick up a bit about the language.

I think a huge part of the Chinese language which really emphasizes our inability to fully understand Chinese culture is 成语 ('Chengyu' or literally, 'to become a saying'). Chengyu are traditional Chinese idioms, usually containing four characters. Chengyu are impossible to understand in modern Chinese without learning the context behind them as the four characters represent the moral behind the story and not the story itself.

Here are a few of my favourites (there are hundreds):

• 画蛇添足 ('hua she tian zu,' 'draw snake add foot'). The story is, there was a competition to see who could draw a snake the fastest. The person who finished first then added feet. Just then, another guy finished and won. The moral of the story is you should know when to stop. I think this really speaks to a main difference between Chinese and Western culture. In North America, people pride themselves and others on being innovative and creative. They'd be like, "ya bitch, thats sweet! Add those feet!" (It's like in Billy Madison when he passed Grade 1 because he drew a blue duck..) In China, they're like, "know your role motha fucka."

• Another great one is 守株待兔 ('shou zhu dai tu', 'wait beside tree trunk waiting for rabbit'). One day a hunter saw a rabbit run into a tree and die. The hunter than waited by the tree everyday for the same thing to happen. It never did. The moral is, don't wait around for another miracle. Be hardworking.

There is no real equivalent in the English language but here's an example. I found this when searching for 成语 on a Chinese website. I guess they are trying to understand OUR crazy language!

小朋友在中国

Just when you think you are getting a sense of the language, you realize that you have no clue what's going on and that people are going to 开玩笑 ('kai wan xiao' or 'make fun of') you. This is how I got my name 小朋友 ('xiao pengyou' or literally, 'little friend')。

My blue haired Shanghainese friend Jonny started calling me 小朋友 on our hike up 黄山 ('Huang Shan' or 'Yellow Mountain')。I loved it!! However, I soon learned that what I thought to be an endearing name was actually Jonny making fun of me. 小朋友, in Chinese, means 'child.' The term is only used when speaking to children...Jonny was mocking me and everyone knew it except me.

I still adopted the name though and it has since become my rap persona. In my latest 'shuo chang dazhan' (rap battle), I was proudly introduced as 小朋友. What can I say, people seem to love it.

yo, yo 我是小朋友， 我要说‘别热我‘