找对象： Looking for a Partner (Lesson 21)

In the 1970's Mao Zedong exclaimed that "Women hold up half the sky." This mentality has certainly not been excepted in modern China.

Bi ru shuo, we read a story in class entitled "Looking for a Partner." It goes something like this:

小赵 ‘Xiao Zhao’ is looking for a wife but he has no luck finding one. The first group of women he tries to meet think he is fat. In the second instance, being fat is 没关系（no problem) but they instead want him to have a salary of more than 5000 RMB, a house that is in good condition and about 100 square meters. Unfortunately, Xiao Zhao cannot accomodate these women.

His friends then introduce him to this women who seems to be a good match. But after finding out she is a manager of a company, he decides he can't marry her. He says, "是个非常有能力的女强人” (she is a very capable, strong woman). This is a huge problem as she will be making the money and Xiao Zhao will have to do the housework. Xiao Zhao explains, "男人怎么能给老婆当用人呢？” (How can men be their wives' servants!) He then finds a woman on the internet and they fall in love.

Not only is it crazy how openly and casually the story focuses on appearance, salary and living condition, the sexism is rampant and accepted as normal.

After telling my roommate about this story, she told me that at birth, boys and girls are compared to two banks in China. For a boy, people say, 建设银行 (jian she yinhang - the construction bank) and for a girl people say, 找商银行 (looking for a business bank). In Shanghai, the man's parents provide housing for the newly weds and the man is supposed to make more money. Thus, the boy is the construction bank because his parents will have to 'build' him a house, while the girl just needs to go and look for a rich husband.

There is also a saying (I forget the Chinese) but they say there are three groups of people. Men, women and women professionals because women professionals will not find husbands. Men do not want to marry a woman who makes more money than him and women do not want to make more money. While this to a certain extent exists in the West, it is openly discussed in China.